Hi Friends,
Today I'm gonna blog about something that's not related to my weight loss. I never intended this blog to be specifically about that journey anyway, it has just been my major source of bloggy inspiration of late.
I guess I should say it's been the major source that I've felt the most comfortable talking about. Which is a weird notion that probably deserves a blog of it's own at a later time. I'll just add that to my list of stuff to blog about... somewhere right after my blog about Pratt vs. Evans (Who makes a better Chris???).
Anyway... today I want to blog about work, or, more correctly, the fact that today was my last day.
You read that right. Today was my very last day with Northrop Grumman. I am no longer employed by them. Last November (I'm pretty sure it was the same day I found out I was approved for the surgery) I put in for a voluntary lay off.
That week was the start of the year of me as far as I am concerned. I did willfully and knowingly decide that I was going to blow my life apart at the start of this year. I had this notion that I wanted 2015 to be a fresh start. I wanted to burn everything to the ground because I truly felt like it was the only way I would rebuild a life the way I wanted it to be. Healthy. Happy. In all aspects of my life. I wanted to remove the stagnant and toxic and move forward.
It felt so right then. I remember pushing the "send" button on the email and being so excited it felt like my blood was carbonated. It still feels right now, but, along the way that feeling got mixed with this idea that I've done something very foolish.
This is, and always will be, one of my biggest weaknesses. I hear too many voices. My own voice gets lost in the cacophony of others and I doubt my decisions.
Fortunately (unfortunately??) my decision was made at the end of the year and after mid-December there was no going back. I was strapped into the lay-off train and we were heading out of the station.
This morning I signed the final paperwork. I said good-bye to some of the most lovely and wonderful people I have ever known. I was gifted BEAUTIFUL flowers and sweet words on a card and I cried when I hugged my 40-hour-a-week-friends* adieu.
So here I am. Sitting at my computer. Unemployed.** Terrified. Excited. Looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow and praying that the urge to leave the comfortable will lead to the good things I so hope it will.
Fingers crossed my voice was the right one to listen to.
Love you guys,
~ Mamy ~
* Please note: 40 hours a week is more than most people spend with their families.
** If anybody has any leads on great jobs for awesome people (coughMEcough) feel free to hit me up. I have resumes!! ;)
*** Cash has volunteered to start hunting for our food, should we need it. #gameplan
Love you, Mamy! Even hindsight isn't always 20/20 - so you just make the best decision you can, based on what you've known and learned, cross your fingers and keep your faith that what is to come is better than what's behind you. You also realize that you have a whole bunch of people who know and love you, cheering you on, and here to lean on. Best of luck, and love, always.
ReplyDeleteEvans, bar none. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE! You made the right choice. I remember the time I had after I left NG. I have only spend rare periods of time unemployed since I started working at 14 and it's not easy. Its like a weekend with nothing going on that doesn't end. Try to keep busy. Spend some amount of time every day working on finding a new job and a specific period of time on some personal project. Then some chores. Then lots of fun! You're gonna kick this out of the park!
ReplyDelete<3
Taylor
Tay - I may have to disagree with you there. A year ago I would have said Evans, but Pratt is sneaking in. He is pretty damn adorbs.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your support, friend. This is the first time in my life I've been unemployed and I'm trying to make the most of it. I decided that I was going to take one week to continue healing from my surgery and just try to get my shit together before really grinding away at finding another job. I've been really proud of myself for the little tasks I've set for myself this week and I do not regret giving myself this time.
I'm not PARTICULARLY looking forward to really ramping up the job search tomorrow, but, I can't stay unemployed forever, hahaha.